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RC Community Impressed By Man In Shorts

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Written by Joseph Krzyston

The RC community was in awe this week of a particularly brave junior, probably a business major, who enthralled the campus with a stunning display of virility by walking around in shorts on a forty-five degree day.

“We’re all just so impressed,” said a sophomore. “I’m currently bundled up because it’s sort of cold, and here comes this guy, wearing shorts and Chacos. Does he just not care? Is he just that tough? We may never know.”

Indeed, though it is widely supposed that the appeal of the students comes from a mixture of devil-may-care recklessness and a God-like imperviousness to the elements, it cannot be known with precision which permutation of these attributes is responsible for the student’s unmistakable appeal.

“It might also be the backwards baseball cap, I mean that probably helps a little bit,” said the sophomore, “but it’s definitely the fact that he’s wearing shorts on a cold day. So edgy!”

The Brackety-Ack tried to reach the shorts-wearing superstar for comment, but he was busy, hard at work maintaining a 2.3 GPA and not doing a whole lot else.

Dr. Joseph Blaha, RC’s Beloved Music Professor, Set to Retire This Spring

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Written by Madalyn Chapman

Come this fall, RC will have lost one of its most friendly and familiar faces.

Dr. Joseph Blaha, a professor of fine arts, has decided to retire. He currently serves as the Director of the Bands here at RC, and teaches a number of music courses as well. Those who have had classes with him will miss him dearly as both a caring professor and individual, and one who was always up for a good conversation.

Dr. Blaha is more than just a great professor. He is also a gifted composer who has studied composition with notable scholars such as Michael Hennagin, Richard Hervig, and Gunther Schuller. The composition played at the 500th anniversary of the Reformation – “Celebrating the Mighty Fortress” – was based off a Lutheran hymn, but composed entirely by Dr. Blaha.

Another one of his pieces, “The Night’s Watch,” won the Michael Hennagin Prize in Composition in 2000.

More of his compositions have been played on the public radio, and played not only across the United States, but in Europe and South America as well.

Dr. Blaha is also a talented musician, performing on the trombone, bass trombone, euphonium and piano when he can.

Members of the RC Jazz Band can fondly recall rehearsals where, in lieu of conducting, Dr. Blaha played along with them on his keyboard. He played euphonium for the infamous Karl King, and also served in the United States Army as a member of the Army Band “Pershing’s Own” for five years.

“He is a mix of unpredictable and caring,” said junior Julia Riccardi, who has served as his assistant, as well as played the clarinet under his conducting baton. “You never know what he’s going to do or say, but he treats his students as if they were his own children.”

The RC community wishes Dr. Blaha all the best in his retirement.

Can I Get Directions to Pound Town?

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Written by Shamira James

Oh how the times change! Last semester, I wrote a piece for the Entertainment Page talking about the myths and assumptions people have about virgins, especially those who are in college. I wrote that just knowing I wouldn’t move into the inner-city of Pound Town anytime soon, let alone this school year.

But lo and behold, here I am, as of recently, not a virgin.

The short end of it all is that friend hit me up, we shook the sheets a little and did the do and, wouldn’t you know it, we’re still friends now.  The story isn’t really in WHAT happened, but more so HOW I felt afterwards. Not to get all “hopeless girl trope” on you guys, but, for a lack of a better word, I was SHOOK! I had been a virgin for so long (21 years to be exact), that it became my thing! Shamira the Virgin was just who and what I became and I got so used to that, that when I lost it, I may have actually lost it.

I got back to my room and laid on my floor in fetal position. I’ll admit it, it was just me being a theatrical mess, but still!

I was shocked – I…DID…IT.

The next day, I walked around making jokes like “wow, the last time I ate in Commons, I was a virgin”, “wow, I can’t believe I was a virgin walking up these steps yesterday”, “hey, remember when I was a virgin who printed things before class?” and stupid things of that nature. Occasionally, my friends would make jokes about specific details I told them to embarrass me.

While all these moments were funny in the present, and even retelling them now still makes me chuckle, I have been kind of struggling with an internal battle. A part of who I was is gone, and I never really thought of being a virgin as such a huge characteristic until it was gone.

But here’s the thing, why should I feel the need to cherish it? We often hold on to these things because we think they should define us, but we shouldn’t feel like we have to. We are at liberty to feel, say and think whatever we want, and we shouldn’t let something define us to the point where we emotionally breakdowns because of what or we used to be. So you can either lay on the Marion floor in a fetal position, or you can get up and get down on it again (and again and again and again).

Recent Thriller, Horror Movies Cause A Stir In Theaters

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Written by Alexandra Gautier

If horror and thriller films are your cup of tea, I suggest popping the popcorn and heading to your nearest movie theater to see the top grossing films of the weekend.

Dwayne Johnson stars in Rampage as primatologist Davis Okoye who has a close relationship to silverback gorilla, George, who falls victim to a genetic experiment that mutates him into a colossal ape. A similar fate befalls other animals across the continent and Okoye is tasked with saving them. This film is leading in the box office this weekend, grossing $35,753,093, according to Box Office Mojo.

John Krasinski stars alongside wife Emily Blunt in A Quiet Place, where their family tries to survive a monster that hunts prey with its keen hearing. The movie “plays on elemental fears with a ruthlessly intelligent creature feature that’s as original as it is scary” as stated by Rotten Tomatoes critics, who rate the movie 8.1/10.

Truth or Dare stars Lucy Hale and Tyler Posey who depict a group of teenagers playing a game of truth or dare that goes awry. Players who fail to be truthful or complete a dare must face deadly consequences. Despite raking in $18,667,855 this weekend, overall, the movie disappointed audience members and critics called it a “mediocre” play on the traditional truth or dare game itself.

Californian in Awe of South’s Biscuits

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Written by Leilani Doneux

Is a biscuit by any other name as bitchin’? The truth is, probably, but there’s something about walking into a biscuit chain with plaid curtains and the warm smell of regrettable decisions that has the power to both humble and heal.

This is the effect that Tudor’s Biscuit World has from Morgantown to Bluefield, which is both up and down Appalachia, in a sustained effort to bring the warm feeling that you just can’t find anywhere else.

In case you thought this was a paid advertisement, it isn’t, but the kind of edible hospitality and fake cheese was so foreign to my California ethos, I barely even noticed that I wasn’t paying six dollars for the cappuccino I ordered.

To be frank and flaky, I have been mainlining biscuits since I moved to The South (patent pending since the War of Secession) with little to no guilt about it, but Appalachia was like the magic carpet ride of carbohydrates: never in my life have so many different iterations of biscuit been offered to me in such an immediate fashion. Bacon, eggs, and cheese may seem secondhand to anyone not on a juice cleanse, but when I sent the picture to my mom, even she was impressed.

With all due respect, The South and Appalachia do fluffy better than anything I have ever known, and I was tempted to camp out in the bathrooms of a rural West Virginia chain restaurant in both posterity and passion. The bizkit, as they say, was not limp.