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Dear Sue


Dear Sue,

I am addicted to Spongebob Squarepants. I am a senior here at Roanoke College who is about to enter the real world. How do I end this addiction? And how do I make myself look like an adult who isn’t addicted to Spongebob? What do I do if I end up making krabby patties at the Krusty Krab?

-I am definitely not ready


Dear Spongebob Addict,

I think it is time to realize that Spongebob Squarepants isn’t real. Therefore, there is no possible way that you will end up making krabby patties at the Krusty Krab. However, there is a possibility that you might end up working at McDonalds or a fast food restaurant. But let’s face it; you are about to obtain a college degree, which Spongebob does not have. Throughout your college career, you have probably taken multiple examinations. Spongebob could barely even pass his driver’s license exam. Therefore, have no fear, you aren’t like Spongebob.

It’s okay to be addicted to Spongebob. As long as you don’t spend your entire day going jelly fishing. More importantly, there is more to Spongebob than a sponge living in a pineapple under the sea.

Remember when Spongebob failed his boating license exam multiple times. When you think of that episode, remember that Spongebob never gave up; he was determined to get what he wanted. So decide what you want to do, and keep trying no matter what. Everyday, Spongebob gets up and shouts, “I’m ready!”  Whatever the day brings, he is ready. He feels nervous like all of us, but yet everyday he gets up and works. He might not be a doctor and make a bunch of money, but he loves what he does. So find something you love and do it. He works just like you have been working for the past four years. And most importantly, Spongebob makes other people laugh. He makes other people’s day. So, don’t look at Spongebob or anything with a negative perspective. Look at Spongebob as a source of inspiration and as your friend that will help you get through whatever comes your way in the future.



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