I’m going home for Thanksgiving, like most people are. I’m really excited for the small break in the middle of all this hecticness. I posted about it on facebook and the next day I get a message from my exgirlfriend asking if I wanted to hang out while I was home. I panicked, and feeling the need to respond, said sure. How do I back out of this politely without encoring her rage?
Dear Happy Alone,
I wouldn’t normally say lie your way out of it, but if you don’t want to hurt her feelings, that may be the best option. Start early; don’t wait until your back home to wiggle your way out of it. Message her again telling her when you’re going to be in town. Tell her you think that you’ll be really busy that weekend but you’ll try to find time to meet up. You may want to mention all the family you’ll have in town and the long list of chores that have piled up around the house while you’ve been away.
Just keep in mind the vicious cycle you’ve created. Even if you can avoid hanging out with her you’ll be back two weeks after that for winter break anyways. If you can’t see her now, she’ll surely want to see you then. You may just want to get it out of the way now. Invite several people over so it’s not just her and you. It’s a good way to hang out without the stress and potential awkwardness of hanging out with your ex. Good luck with whatever you choose to do.
~Sue Z. Maroon