When I first came across this book, I will admit that I was embarrassed to be seen with it in public. I did not want people to think that I was some crazy, man-hating feminist. The beauty of this book though, is that it taught me not to be so embarrassed of having pride in my gender.
Spinster by Katie Bolick is a book that begins to teach girls why it’s okay to not get married but then veers off a bit and tells the stories of awesome women who were able to be independent during a time when female independence was frowned upon.
In this book I learned so much about how life could be as a woman who may not want to get married and pop out three kids before thirty. Instead, I was opened up to the possibilities of what a woman with a career would look like. However, I do not mean to say that a woman can not have a career and wonderful white picket fence marriage; it is just nice to realize that neither of these paths need to be rushed into.
Bolick really strikes a chord with me in her opening line “Whom to marry, and when will it happen–these two questions define a woman’s existence.” This is honestly so accurate, it left me momentarily breathless. From the moment we pop out of our mama’s uterus, the question of who we will marry looms over our heads like an ax. It is a pressure most women can admit to and may eventually succumb to. The great thing about this book though, is that it teaches us a woman’s life is comprised of so much more than this question.
By studying radically independent women, Bolick creates a compilation of inspirational histories that knock readers into realizing just how much they want out of life. There is so much more to a woman than having babies and getting married, or even having a decent career. A woman is an intelligent and kind being who should not be tied down by society’s definition of a proper life.
In all honesty, I loved this book because it helped me realize that even if I am alone, that does not mean that I have failed.