Photo courtesy of Bookess Dear Sue,
I am really excited about going to the President’s Ball but I am stressing over finding a date. There is a girl that I’ve had feelings for since last semester who I really want to go with but I don’t know if she will say yes when I ask her. Last semester we were talking for a little while and became really close, but then she faded out and stopped talking to me for the past couple months. One of our mutual friends is encouraging me to ask her but I know that if she rejects me, I’ll be crushed. At this point, I’m considering not even asking her and skipping the entire event. I know that if I don’t go with someone I have chemistry with or think that I could have a future relationship with, it won’t be fun for me. I really want to go, but I won’t go unless it is with her. Should I ask her and risk rejection or avoid the situation all together?
I understand how badly you want to go to President’s Ball with this girl but try to remember that one person should not stop you from having a good time at an event that you’ve been excited for. It sounds like this person might not even know what they want and could end up being flaky even if they say yes. Don’t put too much pressure on the event; get dressed up, surround yourself with friends, and remember that the only person you need to have for a good time is yourself.
If you are truly interested in this person and want to go with her, definitely ask her. Otherwise, you’ll question what could have happened. However, if they say no, remember that it is okay and maybe they aren’t exactly the girl for you. This may sound harsh but, if a person wanted to be with you, then they would be with you. If they don’t, it isn’t a reflection on yourself. There are many reasons why a person could be uninterested in dating. Rejection can turn out to be a good thing in the end, as well. If she says no, then clearly she wasn’t supposed to be with you and that leaves more opportunity for someone better to come into your life.
Also, don’t put so much pressure on one night. Those kind of expectations are unrealistic and will result, no matter what the girl says, in disappointment. Remember that it is just one night of your entire life. No matter what happens with this girl, you should go to Prez Ball and try your best to remember that your happiness is dependent only on yourself.
Sue Z. Maroon