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Dear Sue

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Dear Sue,

As the end of semester is approaching, I am starting to notice that my friend is acting funny. We used to be unstoppable and that relationship was probably the closest I have ever gotten to anyone. I live so far from home, and having that friendship helped me get through this semester. We used to talk everyday and hangout any moment we could. We would always get lunch and dinner together, no matter how busy we were. One day, I noticed that his attitude changed and he seemed very distant. That same day he said he didn’t have time to get dinner. For every meal, I would ask him if he would like join me, but I am always left with an excuse or he just avoids the question all together. I do not know how to go about fixing this situation and saving this friendship. If you have any suggestion on what I should do, I would love to hear it!

Sincerely,

Confused Carly

 

Dear Confused Carly,

I can understand why you are so confused! I have had a situation like this happen to me. Before you jump to any conclusions, I would take a step back from the friendship and see if there are any outside factors that may be affecting the way your friend is acting. For example, my friend had some family issues that they did not tell me about until I asked. Stress could also be playing a role in the “distant” feeling you may be getting. Stress makes the body change in different ways, whether it is their mood, breakouts or even eating patterns. I, for one, could talk all day about the effects of stress on the human body and how it affects each person a little differently.  If your friend has a significant other, you may also want to take that into account. Have they been getting into fights recently? This may also be a reason for their mood change. Personally, I would sit down and have a heart-to-heart conversation with this person. You guys were very close, so this shouldn’t feel awkward. Try to dig out any hints as to why they may be acting differently and take anything into account.  Ask about their classes and home life. Be their safe space and show them that you are truly concerned about them. I wish you they best of luck with this friend!

Sincerely,

Sue