Written by Shamira James
On average, young adults are having sex 127 times a year. Our generation has seemingly pioneered “hook-up culture”, where sex is more common and casual. Many of us have lived and even grown up in this culture, so we are conditioned to believe it. People have these preconceived notions when you tell them you’re still a virgin, but what’s even worse are the asinine questions. Let’s address it for once and all and debunk some of these “mysteries” for all inquirers.
“Do you ever even think about sex?” – Yes, just as much as “normal people” do. Just because I’ve never done the actual act, that definitely doesn’t mean a girl can’t dream.
“So, do you ever…have urges?” – OF COURSE I DO! And I handle them the old-fashioned way; a little self-love and some TLC.
“You must think I get around a lot!” – Not at all. As long as you’re having fun and being safe in whatever you are (or are not) doing, then I look to the Isley Brothers’ classic and say, “it’s your thing, do what you wanna do”.
“Should we leave? We don’t want you to get uncomfortable!” – I’ve definitely learned enough about reproduction, taken enough sex-ed classes and lived in the 21st century long enough to be unbothered by most kiss-and-tell stories, so spill the tea!
“So, you’ve never done anything?” – Let’s say this: I haven’t been to the inner city of Pound Town, but I’ve visited the suburbs a few times.
“Do boys just intimidate you?” – HECK NO! If I was intimidated by boys, I would never go out with, talk to or even look at them. But for me, just because I’m interested doesn’t mean I’m always open for business.
“So, do you ever want to do it?” – Yes, obviously, but that’s not the big end goal for me. Contrary to popular belief, I’m not losing sleep waiting for someone to have sex with me, but I’m also not a prude about it.
“So, why are you still a virgin?” – While most people assume my apprehension comes from some religious upbringing or familial influence, believe it or not, I’ve chosen to live my life and I’m perfectly content. I respect people who think sex should be between two people who love each other, but I also respect those who think otherwise, but neither of those ideals concern me. I know I’ll be ready when I’m with someone who makes me comfortable, makes me feel like I can trust them and makes me feel like I didn’t make a mistake. I’ll know when the time is right, and that time just hasn’t happened yet.