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Students Fondly Remember Nudity in Commons

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Written by Elizabeth Janes

Jan. 31, 2018 is a day that will live on in Roanoke College History. On Wednesday night around 7:30 p.m., student and Commons staff alike were surprised to find their evening interrupted by a distressed topless woman on the television in Commons.

“I couldn’t process what I was seeing,” said one student, who witnessed the shock and confusion sweep the remaining diners as they realized what they were seeing. As the scene on the television and in the dining hall continued to unfold, the film became recognizable as the 2007 classic Reno 911!: Miami. Who could have thought that the cinematic debut of the buddy cop duo from Nevada could case such a midweek stir?

The action continued for several minutes (though it seemed to drag on for hours) and, eventually, everyone went back to their salads. The events of the evening were from over as the nameless (topless) woman graced the screen no once but upwards of three (3) additional times. An unnamed source has confirmed that she “hasn’t seen that much action since Vietnam” and I can personally vouch that Commons hasn’t been that fun since the 80s.