Written by Ian Gillen
Anyone as invested in Champions League soccer as I am has a tough decision to make on Tuesdays and Wednesdays during this beautiful season. By now you have surely run out of available skips due to traveling, laziness, binging March Madness or watching earlier stages of the Champions League. With the quarter-finals taking place next week, it is important to be able to still watch the most beautiful game in the world. The biggest issue, as many of you surely know, is that these games tend to kick off at 2:45 p.m., during the heart of the daily class schedule. This issue is even greater for anyone watching The Masters this week. The most beautiful stage in golf sets off early in the morning and continues until dark. In order to maximize your sport-watching potential and keep up those pesky participation grades, we have constructed this guide after years of research to help you through this hard time.
Anyone can tell you that putting your phone in your lap and watching that way is the absolute worst way to watch the game. This is the easiest way for teachers to spot out phone users, as it is just absurdly obvious. With the first two days of The Masters, along with the 2nd leg of Liverpool and Manchester City fast approaching, let’s examine a few ways we can maintain our sanity as well as our grades.
In a classroom which has rows, the classic “put your phone in the back of your friend’s hoodie” is a tried and true method to get the job done, although it can be dangerous. If your professor starts to pace and walk around the room, little can be done to stop the impending embarrassment. It isn’t like you can frantically reach into your bud’s hoodie and grab your phone. That’s far weirder and less embarrassing than just getting caught. So while this is a fine method, classes which allow computers offer a much better alternative.
In classes with a strict no-computer policy, a phone can still be used. Simply prop up your bookbag on the chair, desk or wall nearest to you, unzip your bookbag, and place your phone on a book or available ledge inside your bag. This is a simple way to watch that can be easily hidden if your professor decides to take a stroll around the room. A simple, but slight kick to your bag can send your phone plummeting out of view into the depths of your bag. A simple “dig around the bag” in which you drop your phone down can also be a discrete way to hide the game.
If you have been gifted with a class that allows computers, your job does get easier, but in the wise words of Han Solo, “don’t get cocky”. Yes, pull up the game on whatever network is providing the game, but also have whatever PowerPoint, lecture or notes available for a panic click. Participation is also key.
On Wednesday’s, there are 25 minutes between the 2:20 class time and the 2:45 opening kick. These 25 minutes are yours to dominate! Be involved in every debate, question or answer of any kind. If there is a silence, you fill that silence. This will reduce the likelihood of a teacher calling on you at random after the game starts. Employ the same strategy at halftime in order to produce long term results. Being called on at random is the worst nightmare of anyone in that moment, so talking, as well as occasional eye contact during goal kicks with a lecturing professor can help keep this embarrassing moment from happening.
This should help you in your venture to watch the spring sports during your potentially sad mid-week classes. Maintaining appearances while having the most fun possible is what we strive for here at the Brackety-Ack, and we hope we have passed that vision on to you. Good luck in your delinquencies in the coming week, and good luck!