Written by Joseph Krzyston
According from sources close to him, embattled section editor Joe Krzyston is looking forward to the summer. The Brackety-Ack contacted him to confirm.
“Look,” said the devilishly handsome editor, “deadlines are clearly not my favorite thing, and I’m looking forward to a season without them. I’m more interested in doing something, anything else, anything that doesn’t produce a lot of opportunity to let my peers down by flying impromptu to Wisconsin to celebrate a friend’s birthday.”
Krzyston made his feelings plainly known, but he was also clear that this shirking of responsibilities was not the only thing he was looking forward to.
“There’s plenty to like about summer- bass fishing, road trips, swimming, writing on my own time, reading books without the pressure inherent in an academic atmosphere and seeing my oldest friends. These things are all on the agenda.” He paused, sipped from an Arnold Palmer that was sweating in the sun, and continued, adding that it is “a hell of a lot easier to do all these things when I’m not constantly being hounded by the editor-in-chief about deadlines and layouts and so-forth.”
Emma Grosskopf, the talented aforementioned editor-in-chief, was of a similar mind to Krzyston (for once), adding that her summer was shaping up to be particularly nice on account of distance from the mercurial humorist.
“My summer plans in no way involve Joe Krzyston, I am pleased to announce.”