Dear Sue, I know this girl who acts like she likes me at parties, but then ignores me when I see her on campus. What’s her game? Is she shy, or is she just using me when she’s having fun at parties? I need feminine input.
– Used N. Abused
Â Dear Used N. Abused,
It may be that this girl is using you for attention when she’s at a party because she feels lonely when all her friends are getting attention from boys and she isn’t. It could also be that she likes you, but only gets the courage to talk to you when she’s drinking or is with a group of friends. Either way, there are some major games being played here. The best thing to do is to talk to her about it. If you have her phone number, text her or call her and invite her to lunch or coffee. Don’t use the classic “we need to talk” line because everyone knows something bad happens after that and it could scare her away. If you don’t have her number, then approach her if you see her around the campus and invite her out.
When you meet up with her, don’t automatically start asking her why she avoids you in daylight. This subject must be eased into. When you do get around to it, be straight forward. Say something along the lines of, “I really like you, but I feel like you send me mixed signals.” She will probably ask you to explain. Just tell her that you like hanging out with her at parties, but it confuses you when she doesn’t give you the time of day elsewhere. Basically, you either need to establish a better friendship that exists outside of the party scene, or move on. Being used is no good. You may like the attention, but after a while it gets old and lonely.
I wish you the best of luck with this girl. Don’t forget that Valentine’s Day is just around the corner!
Sue Z. Maroon