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American Hero To Be 2012 Commencement Speaker


Staff Writer

Until now it has been a mystery who will give this year’s Commencement speech at Graduation in May. Many have speculated that it would be one of RC’s various accomplished alumni, but it is not someone who has attended Roanoke College. It is a man we can all learn from. He has indeed accomplished much in his lifetime so far and he will give us so much more in the future as well. He has great knowledge of what winning means. He himself is winning by speaking at RC. This speaker will share with us what it takes to overcome the negativity of others. He has recently dealt with allegations from the media and has responded courageously. RC can benefit a great deal from this year’s Commencement speaker, Mr. Carlos Irwin Estevez, better known by his stage name, Charlie Sheen.

            Sheen plans to fly in at the Roanoke Airport sometime during the week before Commencement. The time of his flight has not been released due to press liabilities. It is rumored that he will be staying at the Hotel Roanoke, but the sources cannot confirm his reservation. He plans to give his speech on the front quad, weather permitting.

Sheen will talk about his battle with addiction to himself and how he has overcome it. He also will give motivational words about the tiger blood in all of us. Most importantly, he finds it necessary to discuss how being a warlock can set you back in the real world and how to make the best of it after college. He hopes that everyone will be able to use his advice in the real world after graduating.

            After commencement, Sheen’s new motivational DVD will be on sale in the Colket Center for $35. There will not be free samples of the new drug “Charlie Sheen”, however, he will sign autographs and take pictures following the ceremony.

“Charlie Sheen is a great success story that should be shared with the graduating seniors. He has built up his career from Two and a Half Men to being a rock star from Mars. His miraculous feats are the reason why he was chosen to be the Commencement Speaker,” said Dr. Howard, Head of the Board of Directors of Commencement Speakers.

            Sheen is expecting to rock the house with his award winning motivational speaking skills he has recently acquired. He has taken bi-winning to a new level. He claims his success rate is 100%.  Hopefully Sheen will accomplish his next goal of motivating the RC graduates of 2011 and helping them find their way to the winning path just as he has.

Commencement will be held on May 7, 2011. Sheen reminds you to bring your note pads because you will want to remember everything he says.