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Pirates versus Ninjas a Great Success


Brandon Paderick

Staff writers

Ninjas, masters of espionage and covert assassination, engaging in mortal combat against a horde of brigands and privateers, the internet meme of lore rendered corporeal. Alright…I will grant that it was, perhaps, just a group of sweaty nerds beating each other with pool noodles, but it was a rather epic nonetheless.

The event was preceded by T-shirt decoration on the bottom floor of Colket Center, and it is a widely regarded truth that only fools abstain from receiving a free shirt. Due to a dearth of adroit drawing capabilities, I found mine rather…wanting, suffice it to say. I lingered for a while, speaking with my fellow pirates and disparaging the opposition, awaiting the long-anticipated confrontation.

When at last I entered Bast, there was a small group already assembled. Unfortunately, this far-too-small assemblage was to experience little growth. Despite the low turnout, the event continued as planned. To the tune of various pirate and ninja themed songs, the groups armed themselves with vicious blades (pool noodles) and split as cannon balls (water balloons) were placed in the middle. The signal was given, and the battle began. “The Scurvy Whore”, flagship of the esteemed pirate fleet, was loaded so as to summarily unleash a barrage of balloons upon the ninjas, who retaliated with singularly adroit swordsmanship. Victory went to the ninjas, who emerged triumphant in three of the four rounds. I must confess that, despite the defeat, it was quite invigorating.

Prizes were afterwards awarded, including such booty as a Bob-omb plushie, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Pint Glasses, and a $50 Visa Gift Card. I spoke with Emily Waskiewicz’13, who organized and hosted the event, concerning the planning and result: “Planning the event was not so much difficult as it was somewhat of a waiting game. You have to jump through a few hoops before you reach the end result, which, although there was not a big turnout, was an overall successful event. That is because of the fact that people had one of the best times of their lives, just fewer people got to experience the joy. Oh, and that fewer people had to compete for the awesome prizes that I was extremely jealous of.”

It is my hope that next year will yield a larger crowd, and thus a considerably larger battle. I will certainly be in attendance.