Dear Sue: “Sexed-out-Sam”
I really like my roommate and we get along well. However, he/she keeps bringing their significant other over almost every other night, and I keep getting “sexiled” when I have a right to my room also. What should I do?
I suggest that you sit down with your roommate and come up with a protocol for how to handle guest visits. Talk to each other and come up with guidelines you can both agree on. Decide how long it’s appropriate for guests to stay, and make note of any times during the year, like finals week, where those rules may change. Are you okay with your roommate having guests over on weekends, but not weeknights? Does he/she have an 8:30 lab on Thursday mornings, and prefer to go to bed early the night before? Whatever each of you prefers, make it known. Compare schedules to see when the other person will be out of the room, and try to take advantage of those times. Setting up some boundaries beforehand will help avoid awkward moments down the line. Communicating with your roommate should be the first step you take when there’s a problem, but remember that your RA is there to help and can be a good resource if the problem persists.