The Sexperts: “Home for the Holidays”
By The Sexperts
It’s the time of the year again for holiday feasts and family celebrations, and, for some of you, that may mean traveling to the house of your significant other. This can be especially tricky if it is your first time meeting the folks. Here are a few pieces of advice that can make your time with your partner’s parents significantly less awkward.
When you first greet the parents, expect a handshake, but prepare yourself for a hug. Let them make the first move, because you don’t want to offend them or their customs. Introduce yourself formally and if they prefer something more informal they’ll let you know. If you’re going to a big family gathering, there’s no good way to avoid the awkward greetings or small talk. Just roll with it like the champ you are.
During dinner, keep it civil, and use your table manners. However, if you would like to assert your place as the new alpha male or female of this new family upon which you have intruded, you should steal the ceremonious job of cutting the turkey for yourself and then eat a turkey leg with your bare hands. Your partner will be amazed with your demonstration of strength and primal instincts, and your partner’s family will respect you for your challenge of the familial hierarchy.
If you’re going to be sleeping together, make sure that your partner’s parents are okay with you sharing the same bed, and if you’re going to be having sex, don’t forget to pack your pumpkin spice latte flavored condoms and make sure you keep things quiet. Aunt Muriel might not be as forgiving as that guy from down the hall when he hears you and your lover in the throes of passion.
Position of the Week: The Drumstick Dangle