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Married by Graduation? Just Say No



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Article by Mikaela Wall

What is so appealing to people about signing their life away to live with someone else at the age of 22? Someone enlighten me, because I truly cannot understand.

More and more college seniors and graduates are getting engaged, and being single seems like a thing of the past. Girls I shared a bathroom with and borrowed clothes from for the weekend, are now getting married to someone they believe is the “love of their life”; I’m here to tell you that it is not all gravy.

Don’t get me wrong, I fully support monogamous relationships, and I believe most people should be married in their life but when you are a college graduate, you have no idea what you want to do with your life.

As only a sophomore, I keep myself awake most nights, planning my future out after college. I want to live in New York City and work for GQ in the Freedom Tower, and then eventually settle down at around 28, have a kid (or 4), then buy a second house in Watch Hill, RI. See? Nothing too extreme. I clearly understand ambition, and I am fully supportive of people pursuing their dreams, but I think people should do it alone before they do it with someone else.

You always hear friends, family, peers, and literally anyone else say you should love yourself before loving someone else. In order to love yourself, you have to figure out who you are. As a lost, unguided 22-year-old living in a new environment, you do not have a stable life yet. You’re still working a 9-5 job, cranking away at something you only “kind of” like to do, but whatever right? It pays the rent.

Being a post-grad, just trying to pay rent and please your boss, you most likely have not found things in your new life that you enjoy doing. The weekend is your time to be yourself, to spend time with yourself. You have to figure out your new lifestyle before you let someone else into it. Once you become stable enough to enjoy what is around you, and feel comfortable in a different environment, that is when I believe you should think about settling down. You want to be able to fully support yourself before you rely on somebody else.

I realize some people will disagree and they might say that they want to explore their new life with someone else, rather than themselves, or they love their current significant other, so why does it matter how old you are? I am here to tell you that you have to be alone in order to truly find out who you are, otherwise you’re just *insert name*’s boyfriend or girlfriend.