Article by Emma Grosskopf
I might be the only person who hasn’t seen the new IT movie, and I might be the only person who has zero interest in it. Let’s be real, here. The life of a college student is weird enough; I have a front row seat to the scariest show in town, and I play the lead! I could name a couple hypothetical movies that would scare the pants off of RC students even more than IT did.
The Hills Have AIs—You think clowns are scary? Try listening to a professor warning you about academic integrity violations. If that doesn’t terrify you, you’re tougher than I thought!
The Day After— Nothing is quite as chilling as seeing someone who you (regrettably) hooked up with after last night’s party. Go ahead. Try to avoid them. You can’t run forever.
Brunch of the Living Dead—If you’ve ever been to weekend brunch, then you’ve seen them. The walkers. Makeup caked under dead-tired eyes, ragged, unwashed hair, slowly shuffling over to Jacob’s omelet station. They need to feed.
The Plague—The RC plague spreads like wildfire, starting with that guy who didn’t cover his mouth when he hacked up a lung in the library. It’s too late, you’ve already been infected. It’s everything you touch, the very air that you breathe. You can’t escape. The virus will take us all.
The Nightmare of Rush Week—You’ve heard them all say it. Rush. It was the best decision they ever made. Rush. It’ll change your life forever. Rush. They want to recruit you. They’re coming for you. Make sure you know whose side you’re on.
So you see what I mean? I could make about 15 more scary movies about my life right now. IT may have been a great movie, exciting and scary, but life at RC has the potential to be even scarier.