Written by Shamira James
Oh how the times change! Last semester, I wrote a piece for the Entertainment Page talking about the myths and assumptions people have about virgins, especially those who are in college. I wrote that just knowing I wouldn’t move into the inner-city of Pound Town anytime soon, let alone this school year.
But lo and behold, here I am, as of recently, not a virgin.
The short end of it all is that friend hit me up, we shook the sheets a little and did the do and, wouldn’t you know it, we’re still friends now. The story isn’t really in WHAT happened, but more so HOW I felt afterwards. Not to get all “hopeless girl trope” on you guys, but, for a lack of a better word, I was SHOOK! I had been a virgin for so long (21 years to be exact), that it became my thing! Shamira the Virgin was just who and what I became and I got so used to that, that when I lost it, I may have actually lost it.
I got back to my room and laid on my floor in fetal position. I’ll admit it, it was just me being a theatrical mess, but still!
I was shocked – I…DID…IT.
The next day, I walked around making jokes like “wow, the last time I ate in Commons, I was a virgin”, “wow, I can’t believe I was a virgin walking up these steps yesterday”, “hey, remember when I was a virgin who printed things before class?” and stupid things of that nature. Occasionally, my friends would make jokes about specific details I told them to embarrass me.
While all these moments were funny in the present, and even retelling them now still makes me chuckle, I have been kind of struggling with an internal battle. A part of who I was is gone, and I never really thought of being a virgin as such a huge characteristic until it was gone.
But here’s the thing, why should I feel the need to cherish it? We often hold on to these things because we think they should define us, but we shouldn’t feel like we have to. We are at liberty to feel, say and think whatever we want, and we shouldn’t let something define us to the point where we emotionally breakdowns because of what or we used to be. So you can either lay on the Marion floor in a fetal position, or you can get up and get down on it again (and again and again and again).