Written by Emma Grosskopf
Has anyone ever played Monopoly?
Unless you play the same way that my little brother and I do, where we divvy out all of the money at the beginning and then blow it on hotels and Park Place, it’s a truly painful process.
It goes on and on and on, and then when you think it’s over, the game just goes on longer.
As you can clearly see, I have no patience with games. At all. Both board and boy.
See, in my experience as a wise old goat, I have had to play many games here with guys on campus who don’t know how to be direct about their feelings, and I’ve witnessed many guys choose to waste my friends’ time rather than express their feelings in a quick, only-hurts-for-a-second process like pulling off a Band-Aid.
Recently, I was lucky enough to have an experience where a guy I was interested in told me directly, to my face, that he wasn’t interested in me.
An OUCH for sure, and definitely a blow to an already feeble ego, but a much-appreciated one, because there’s nothing worse than playing a guessing game with a guy who isn’t into me. Will he text me back? Will he open my Snapchat? Will he want to hang out with me again? Will I ACTUALLY survive, the way that disco queen Gloria Gaynor suggests I will?
Having somebody be direct like that made me see stars, because it felt like no guy in the history of guys in my life have ever been so up-front with me.
I was SHOOK to the core.
But that’s what this campus needs more of: guys who want to put away all of the games and the strategy and just be direct.
Not that women are always direct either, don’t get me wrong, but imagine how much time would be saved if everyone, guys and girls, just folded up their chessboards and told each other how they really felt.
It’d stop my premature graying, that’s for damn sure.