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Ya Hate to See It, Ya Better Not Be It!

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Let’s face it: we all have our SMAN that is our Social Media Arch-Nemesis. You know the person: you roll your eyes and scoff any time you see a post from them. They inevitably end up as a screenshot in your pettiest group chat and inside joke between you and the gals. Don’t feel alone, chances are this isn’t the first time their social media antics have made them the bane of anyone’s existence. They are everyone’s SMANs, and it’s probably because they do any of the following things on this list.

  1. Watch that scene, WE DON’T stan the FaceTune queen – get your scoffs out now, everyone knows this person. On IG they have the curves, the abs, the BadgirlRiRi™ thickness, the chiseled jaw and everything else that makes people double-tap till their fingers bleed. The only thing is, that when you see them in person…they are lackluster to say the least. We all know the camera adds 10 pounds, but it most definitely doesn’t add a booty! You’ve been clocked!
  2. BUT FIRST, let me ONLY post a selfie – we get it, a selfie is easier to take, but seriously GIVE SOMEONE ELSE THE CAMERA. Even if there are other people in it, you’re still holding the camera and that’s the issue. It’s just annoying. Put on some big girl or boy panties and ask someone to take a picture of you for once. The next selfie that gets posted is getting reported for being inappropriate.
  3. Serial anniversary spammer – happy 1 month babe! Happy 2 months babe! Happy 3 months babe! Happy 4 months babe! Happy 5 months babe! Happy 6 months babe! WE GET IT! You don’t need a post for it, keep major posts for 6 month intervals and save your weekly updates on your relationship for Snapchat stories, so at least after 24 hours we’ll be spared.
  4. Not your face, not your problem? – this should be an offense punishable by law. Before you post a pic, you GOTTA know the rules! Send it in the group chat and double check with the gang first. If you post a pic and you sister looks busted or your teammate looks a little wonky BUT you look great, that’s not cool and just know that everyone thinks you’re a bad friend.
  5. Up in the Gym Just Workin ON MY LAST NERVE – We get it! You’re up at 5 a.m. pumping iron when everyone else is sleeping. If it ain’t a protein shake you won’t even look at it, your closet is literally all Lulu Lemon and every day you post a disappointingly empty but calorically correct meal. While being a skinnty legend is great, STOP SHOVING YOUR SKINNTY LIFESTYLE IN OUR FACES. You’re driving us away from being your gym buddy and even more so from liking your pics.