Written by Emma Grosskopf
A couple of weeks ago, in my Pilates class, my professor Renee Rauch asked us if we wanted to have our auras cleansed.
I didn’t know what that meant. She pulled out a little box, sort of like a matchbox, that was apparently full of little cedar sticks.
As a skeptic of LITERALLY EVERYTHING, I hesitated. It had to be, as my three brothers would call it, absolute hokum.
What does a clean aura even mean? How the hell was I supposed to know if my aura was clean or dirty?
I decided to just shut up and let her cleanse my aura and stop thinking too hard about it.
The following things that happened may or may not have been related to my new, sparklingly clean aura, but they happened nonetheless.
That weekend was St. Patrick’s Day, and to the surprise of everyone, I did not embarrass myself or end the weekend with a horrible hangover.
That Saturday, I found a $10 bill on the ground.
The next weekend, I met a 7’1 country singer. We may or may not be making plans to yee-haw off into the sunset.
At this rate, this upcoming weekend should provide me with a winning lottery ticket, or a chart-topping single or a phone call from Orlando Bloom saying “I made a mistake with Katy Perry, she’s just too hot and cold. I want you instead.”
I’ll let you guys know what happens, and I’m not saying that there is a relationship between my new and improved aura and my interesting couple of weekends, but it definitely provides some entertaining content.
I’m not saying I’m buying all of the cleansing stuff, but it’s for sure fun to talk about. Spring cleaning, amiright? It’s not just for messy dorms anymore.