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Calling the Fashion Police


Written by Kaelyn Spickler

Labor Day has come and gone. We honored our troops, and maybe watched a fireworks display or attended a barbeque. The pools have closed their doors as we now look forward to the fall months coming ahead. This day also marked a change in fashion for many Southerners- packing up their white sandals and trading their white jeans for a darker wash pair. Some of you reading this might be making a puzzled look, but here in the South, at least, wearing white shoes and pants is only allowed between Memorial Day and Labor Day. 

This fashion rule started appearing around the 1950s because white is typically a summery color, and the color helps keep you cool during the summer months- between Memorial Day and Labor Day. Another possibility for the rule is that the color white oftentimes the color white represented a look of leisure for when the upper class would return from their summer holiday. 

It is somewhat of an older tradition, that has since faded. 81% of Roanoke College students voted they wear white after Labor Day, and many of the voters didn’t understand or know why this was a question being asked. 

What do you do if it’s still warm after Labor Day, and you have the perfect outfit to wear that will only be completed by your white wedges? Well, this is up to you. If you live by the rules presented from TLC’s show What Not to Wear, then find a pair of black pumps instead. If you choose to ignore the rule, then it seems not many RC students will call you out on it. After all, you did buy the shoes, and it would be a shame for them to only get worn for 12 weeks out of the year. Just be careful not to step in a mud puddle or let your ice cream cone drip on your bright pants.

Freshman Class Deals with Disappointment


Written by Zach Dalton

As the school year starts up Roanoke College welcomed in one of its largest freshman class with even larger expectations about things like class time, sports, professors, elevators and many more. After rigorous polling throughout Commons only two things can be confirmed: First, the freshmen class had high expectations for certain things before coming to Roanoke. Second, their expectations quite obscure.

One freshman eagerly stood in front of the Donald Kerr Stadium along with two others ten minutes before the Men’s Soccer try-outs were held. When the time came for the freshmen to take the field, they were shocked to see they were the only three to come out. Turns out the campus only truly cares about European sports if Homestead Creamery brings a truck out.

In another conversation a freshman complained about elevator speeds. Turns out this freshman hails from the land of fast elevators because even Cregger, the fastest one on campus, couldn’t match up to the thrill of an elevator ride.

“I just feel like the elevators should move faster,” Elevator Boy said. “They don’t have to break the sound barrier, but they certainly shouldn’t move like a 93-year-old man trying to get up from the chair for his 70th bathroom trip of the hour.”

Reports say he has yet to wander into Life Science’s elevator. Best advice for him is to go to Disney World . . . They have fast elevators.

In a true act of comedy, one freshman came early to his Wednesday 8:30 class eager to start his academics. As he sipped on whatever he made this morning he soon realized that class had started. “We were all just sitting there and kind of gave each other a look.” At that moment he was faced with a decision: should he crack a joke or inform the class that they’re legally allowed to leave after 15 minutes if the professor doesn’t show up? The Eager Beaver went with the former and called out “Bueller” three times in a monotone voice.

“I don’t even know who this Bueller kid is, but my high school teacher did it once and he was pretty funny,” he stated. A few class members chuckled, and Eager Beaver beamed with pride. “That’s definitely the highlight of my freshman year so far,” he recounted fondly. “The professor never showed up and we had a sub on the first day, so I guess that was disappointing.”

There were plenty of other things the students were disappointed by, but they were all relatable and don’t make for funny comments.

Welcome Back Maroon Athletes and Fans!


Written by Garrett Ruggieri

Welcome back Maroons! It is time to flood the stands with maroon and grey, our RC athletics are back in action. The 2019-2020 NCAA year is upon us. Roanoke is kicking off the year strong with soccer, field hockey, volleyball and cross country.

The men’s and women’s soccer teams are off to a fast start this season, and in fact, the women’s team got some action abroad prior to arriving at Roanoke. Yes, our Maroons went to Costa Rica and sported a 3-0 campaign as well as enjoying some fun is the sun. They were able to share important team bonding before the start of the school year during this trip. Sophomore, Isabella Ubaydi, shared, “we all loved the trip and our favorite thing was riding the catamaran”. She also mentioned the pride the team had going undefeated away from the home turf, exclaiming the notion that they were happy to bring it home for the coaches because that feat had never been accomplished before in program history. When asked about being back in the swing of things here at Roanoke, Ubaydi said, “I have been injured but I am really excited to be back and play a team from my home state of Michigan this weekend”. 

On the men’s side, sophomore, Jacob Humer shared his goals for the upcoming year. “I basically have a few new years resolutions for myself. I’m in the gym every morning this year and I want to do better in school because that is important to me too”. The men’s team is set to play their first home tournament of the year this weekend at Kerr Stadium. All players, coaches and trainers are excited to get out on the pitch and are hopeful to see fans just as pumped up in the stands. 

After a long summer, it is finally time to put your hands together for another year of thrilling Maroon’s athletics. For the love of the game, get out their and support our men and women and welcome them back with a standing “O”.

“The Handmaid’s Tale” Season Three: Save the Children


Written by Joseph Carrick

Hulu’s original series The Handmaid’s Tale has reached season three and has left both loyal followers and critics, alike, enthralled and somewhat conflicted. The latest season doubled down on symbolic imagery and music over dialogue, and while this alone is not necessarily a mark against the film series, the show seems to have run out of ideas for June. Without going into spoilers, consider June’s character from both seasons one and two. Now imagine the exact same thing happening again – only this time June can’t seem to decide if she cares about surviving or not and occasionally remembering that she has a daughter she is supposed to be trying to save. SPOILERS AHEAD:

Throughout the season the plot was almost non existent with most of the episodes following along the lines of “wow it sure does suck we live in an oppressive patriarchy. I sure do wish someone would do something about that.” However, it picked up in the final part of the season with June wanting to send a plane-load of children off to Canada, which came out of the blue while not attempting to save her own daughter. This plot is introduced late enough into the season that it is pulled off to some satisfaction.

Serena Joy picks up her plot thread from season two of wanting to save “her” baby Nicole. Considering Nicole is an international crisis because of her, one would think Gilead would cut its losses and give Serena a few adoptive children, but that would assume Gilead was run with any hint of common sense. Suddenly the leader of Gilead disappears into thin air,thanks to June, and the nation runs around in circles like a chicken with its head cut off. The bright minds running this circus decide now is a great time to declare war on Canada due to an incident on the border.

 Only one person has his head on his shoulders at the moment: Commander Lawrence, and naturally he is working for the resistance to get the children (and ideally himself) out of Gilead. Seeing as he is the de facto leader he could, as a rational human would do, try to undermine the old Gilead ways until he can peacefully overturn the old order. He is tired of living like this: in a nation that cost his wife her sanity and her life. Instead he assumes all is lost and saves a plane of children while resigning who knows how many more to a life of torment. 

So season three has… issues. Season four has been green lighted, and despite all that has happened, it is still highly anticipated by both fans and critics alike. The show cannot stop earning award nominations for acting and screenplay, so clearly there is more than just the plot to follow. The Handmaid’s Tale is available on Hulu, YouTube premium, and Amazon Prime. Season four will release sometime this coming spring.

Switch Up Your Semester


Written by Joyelle Ronan

When you have multiple exams, homework, and presentations all due at the same time, college seems never ending. However, there are only four years to make the most of this weird communal, educational adventure. Yet, many students tend to find themselves reliving the same experiences. Even freshman can quickly find themselves in a rut. A new semester is a chance to break out of collegiate comfort zones. Here are a few ways to revamp your fall semester:

Switch up your look — If you’ve never dyed your own or your friend’s hair in a dorm bathroom, you’re really missing out on an experience. It doesn’t have to be that dramatic though. Hit up some thrift shops and find some outfits you like but wouldn’t ordinarily wear to class. You’d be surprised how a new style can make you feel. Making a physical change as simple as getting a haircut can help you feel transformed.

Develop your palate- Tendies day is always a good time but Commons has more to offer. College is a good time to eat the “adult” food that has always scared you. Find a delicious way to get your daily veggie quota in. Take advantage of your meal plan and try something new every week. During holidays like Hanukkah, Commons will make traditional Jewish food. It was my first time ever trying latkes and my life will never be the same.

Make a new friend- It’s so easy to stick with the same friend group and never branch out. If you see someone sitting alone, ask to join them. Talk to someone in a different major in an INQ class. You may assume that you don’t have anything in common with someone and then learn that you both love reading the Brackety-Ack. Even if that person isn’t going to become your new best friend, it’s nice to see a familiar face on campus.

Join a new club- If you went to the activities fair last week, then you know Roanoke has a lot of great clubs to join. Clubs are a great way to take on a leadership role and get more involved around campus. Maybe your want to trade in your fake plants for real ones? Join the gardening club! Can you harmonize? There are several a cappella groups where you can show your talents. If there isn’t a club for your interests, create one!

Get out there and have a blast! Also, do your homework and drink water too. Welcome (back) Everyone!