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Oops, We Did It Again: Hookup Stories

Red car - side view

Written by Emma Grosskopf

“Someone called campo on us because the music we were using was too loud. Apparently it was loud enough to block out the pounding on the door, so when campo came in, there we were otherwise engaged.” -Female, junior, 20

“We were at Disney World and we were eating dinner. I thought the server was cute and my cousin convinced me to get his number. Later we met up and walked around, next thing I knew we were getting down and dirty on the Little Mermaid Ride.” -Female, sophomore, 20




“It was snowing and me and girlfriend wanted to go for a drive. A song came on and it got us hot and bothered so we pulled off to the side of the ride, to where we thought no one could see us. Well when the cops knocked on the window and made me get out of the car with just covering my junk, he let us go but mentioned that next time do it not near a kids’ playground.” – Male, junior, 20

“I invited this guy over and we talked about kidney beans for an hour, I guess that was his foreplay. Then we did it and much to my surprise and the help of my black light, it looked like a Tarantino scene on my be, and he even left the condom on my desk…we love that.” – Female, junior, 20

“It was a day party with beautiful weather. Everyone decided to go on the roof and I decided this would be a suave move for me to pull with this girl. Then she decides she wants to go ‘somewhere more private’. I thought the other side of the roof was perfect and i thought it was too – until she stopped and looked horrified. I turned around saw on my brothers jaw-to-the-ground staring at me. I haven’t heard the end of it to this day.” -Male, junior, 21

“I was getting hot and heavy with a guy in a car in the back part of the New Hall Parking lot. It was fine, but in my haste to get back and tell my friends, I left my sexiest pair of underwear. This was literally last spring semester and I’m still mourning.” – Female, senior, 22

“I live in the basement of my house and invited this guy over for the night and he was going to leave in the morning. The only problem was that someone had locked the door and we were stuck! I had to text my brother to unlock the door but he was watching TV in the living room which my door opens to, lucky for me he was facing the other direction just enough for me to sneak this guy through the kitchen’s back door.” – Female, senior, 22

“I was fooling around with this girl and it was very run of the mill after party activity. Or at least I thought so until she, well there’s no way to sugarcoat it, she bit my Johnson – my life flashed before my eyes.” Male, Junior, 20

“I went home with one guy, but ended up hooking up with his twin brother and him…at the same time!” Female, freshman, 18

“I brought a guy back to my room after a party but my roommate was in there asleep with her boyfriend so we tried to go to the common room but there were literally people already claiming that area. We with our very last option – the laundry room and then he high-fived me after.” Female, sophomore, 19
















“In a hammock. In a park. In West Virginia.” Male, sophomore, 20


Single? We’re All in This Together this Valentine’s Day


Written by Caisi Calandra

It’s that time of the year again to which a whole aisle at Walmart (how luxurious) is dedicated to shades of pinks, fuschias, blue-reds and royal purples, and of course, the little plastic hearts stuffed with sorted delights, the ones you’d buy for yourself. Then it hits you, “Ah, yes, I’m still single.”

When a holiday is commercialized toward the idea of monogamy and dating, and you’re involved in neither, what’s a gal to do? Being single on Valentine’s Day is actually a popular topic when Valentine’s Day itself comes around, and one could easily find articles gushing about positivity, strength, and simply how to feel better now that we don’t receive Valentine cards like we used to in elementary school.

One of the most important things to remember if you’re feeling major FOMO on Valentine’s Day is to make plans! It’s the perfect way to avoid feeling alone, and the more you invest in said plans, the more you’ll enjoy them. Around the Salem area, you could get a nice meal with your gals and then go shopping for a bit, or you could try something new, like rock climbing or painting.If you really wanted to get busy on the 14th, and you have a bunch of other friends who are feeling rather spinster-ish, invite them to a singles dinner party because, truly, nothing heals the heart like shared negativity.

If you’re trying to ball on a budget one of the best ways to spend Valentine’s Day is to go to Target and buy some home spa necessities for yourself. Throw in Pillsbury Valentine’s Day cookies (iconic) for easy snacks later, and waltz through the healthcare aisles to grab a few masks (which are around $2.50) for later. Cuddle up to a nice movie on your laptop, and you’re set.

Last, but not least, GALentines, if you’re feeling up to it, and have a little extra time, it’s becoming more and more popular to write little Valentine’s for your friends. Get the corny Valentine’s from the CVS down the road and hand them out to your friends when the holiday comes around. You could also get the slightly overpriced teddy bears, or even try to make your own little cards with positive messages in them.

There are so many positive things you can do on the holiday that tries its best to sell you the idea that you should be in a relationship. So, if you’re feeling like crap this month because of a certain day, put on your big girl pants, or leggings, and try to spread that positivity, and do so while keeping in mind that there are plenty of people out there who care about you. You don’t need one day in the year to try and tell you otherwise.

Oh, Hickey, You’re So Fine


Written by Emma Grosskopf

Are YOU dating a vampire? Hooking up with a vacuum cleaner? In love with a leech? If so, then you are probably very familiar with the general inconvenience and byproduct of a good makeout sesh that is a hickey. Whether you love ‘em or you hate ‘em, here’s some things to keep in mind when sucking face (or neck, or back, etc.) with a significant other (or total stranger! We don’t judge over here at the BA!):

  1. A Healing Process
    1. There are a lot of home remedies out there about how to shrink the appearance of a hickey. Some of them are complete crap. If your neck is sore after a steamy romp, rub the surface of your skin with a toothbrush. The bristles help with blood circulation and reduce the appearance of the bruise. If you make a habit of keeping aloe vera around, rub a little bit of that on the spot. It’ll soothe your skin and help move along the healing process.
  2. A Stealthy Cover-up
    1. Covering a hickey with makeup can be dicey, especially since 99% of the time, the same color concealer used for your face is too dark for your neck. Keep this in mind: a bad cover-up is worse than no cover-up at all. Find the right shade and use a yellow-based primer to cancel out the reddish purple color of the bruise. If you opt for the turtleneck-or-scarf route, just beware: if that’s not your usual style aesthetic, it might just draw more attention to your neck.
  3. Communication is Key
    1. When you’re fooling around with your partner, don’t be afraid to shout it out if you have something against hickeys. If you’re into hickeys but just don’t want them where everyone can see them, let your partner know. Basically, just communicate openly about everything, including getting your neck sucked, period.
  4. It Happens to Everyone
    1. If you’re reading this and sniffing disapprovingly, ask yourself: have I REALLY never had a hickey before? If not, that’s impressive. This is a college campus after all. But if you have, don’t sweat it. It happens to PRETTY MUCH everyone. Look at Kendall Jenner. She literally gets her picture taken for a living and had a hickey-gate involving Anwar Hadid (the lesser known but still pretty hot Hadid brother). No shame in being an RC bio major with a couple love bites. We just have to deal with pointed staring in Commons rather than paparazzi photos on DailyMail.
  5. Don’t be An Ass About It
    1. You know what this means. It’s cool to have hickeys, it’s cool to hate hickeys, it’s cool to only like giving hickeys, and it’s cool to only like receiving hickeys, but it’s NEVER cool to prance around flaunting them. We aren’t 15 anymore, people. Congrats. Woo hoo. You got laid. Let’s move on with our lives.

Fraternity Hopefuls Celebrate Bids Day


Written by Lorin Brice Hall

On Feb. 2, a series ofjoyous celebration took place throughout the Roanoke College community. Last Saturday was the semesterly Boys Bids Day, the day where the five fraternities of Roanoke College (Pi Lambda Phi, Kappa Alpha Order, Pi Kappa Alpha, Sigma Chi and Pi Kappa Phi) extend bids to potential members. If these potentials accept a fraternity’s bid, then they will then join that fraternity.

A potential may receive bids from multiple organizations, but obviously they can only accept one bid. Acceptance of a bid means that the accepter is now a “pledge.” The pledging process is an educational and formative period in which the pledge learns the values of the fraternity. Pledging ends with the pledge becoming a full Brother.

Bids Day is a celebration of the pledges and the fact that they have begun the process that culminates in their joining of the brotherhood. Steeped in RC tradition, it’s a day of rejoice and camaraderie.

Pi Kappa Phi Pledge Jakob Chandler said, “Everything I can remember was pretty fun.”

His pledge brother Dominick Thomas said, “I almost slept through accepting my bid.”

Pledges accept their bids early in the morning during the beginning of brunch and then immediately afterwards  join the Brothers and begin to throw down.

Kappa Alpha Order pledge sophomore Ethan Abbot is extremely excited to be a part of a fraternity.

“I decided to rush a fraternity because I wanted to prove something to myself as well as be part of an organization that will stay with me for a lifetime,” said Abbott.

Brothers were also excited to welcome the new guys into their ranks.

Pi Lambda Phi Brother Tobyn Whitten said, “It’s the most wonderful time of the year.”

Fellow Pi Lambda Phi Brother Greg Fletcher said, “The feeling of potentially welcoming new brothers into the fraternity is truly a magical experience for all involved.”

Roanoke Valley HOPE Initiative Offers Support, Services


Written by Emma Grosskopf

The Roanoke Valley HOPE Initiative (RVHI) is a volunteer-based organization here in the valley that focuses on helping individuals who suffer from substance use disorders. Substance use disorders (SUDs) can include alcohol, marijuana and opiates, and are extremely common across the nation; the greater Roanoke County area is no exception.

The RVHI mission aims “to inform the community at large as to the severity of the opioid epidemic confronting the community.” Services offered by the volunteers of this organization include detoxification programs, residential treatment programs, support groups and much more.

The RVHI hosts “drop in” sessions where people suffering from SUDs can get information about professional health services that are available to them. The next community-based sessions will be held on Feb. 11, March 11, April 15 and May 13 at the Bradley Free Clinic from 11 a.m. through 4 p.m. These consultations are held on the second Monday of each month.

For more information on SUDs, service availability, future “drop in” dates, how to volunteer and more, call the HOPE Line at 540-339-9010. You may also visit the RVHI website at bradleyfreeclinic.com/services/roanoke-hope-initiative/.