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Elderscholar Program Provides Education Opportunity for Community

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Written by Lucy Collins

Roanoke College is full of opportunities, both social and academic, that are presented to students and to adults that exceed the age of the average college student.

Among these opportunities blossomed the Elderscholar program. Founded in 1984, the Elderscholar program is a six-week fellowship based out of Roanoke College and offered in both the fall and spring semesters to adults age 55 and above.

There is a wide variety of lectures instructed by well-versed professors that participants may choose from. This semester the program is offering: Economics Journey in Alaska, Teaching about Race and Racism in the Roanoke Valley, Clay Street House Lecture and Tour, among other intriguing topics.

The program will meet on Tuesdays at 12 p.m. in Antrim Chapel, and on Wednesdays at 11:45 a.m. in the Colket Center. Prior registration is required, based on a first come first serve basis on applicants’ acceptance. Anyone that is applicable for this promising experience should sign up as quickly as possible because spots fill up fast!

Reluctant Vegetarian Can’t Handle the Overwhelming Ads

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Written by Brice Hall

We at the Brackety-Ack talked to a recent convert to vegetarianism. The young citizen met us in Fintel Library’s most secluded corner. They were visibly agitated and their cranium was protected from “The AD-Men” by a crown of tin foil. These “Ad-Men” were targeting this vegetarian. They had become a vegetarian in order to passively lose weight as well as to have better general health and to protest the Factory Farm Industry. However, soon after making this lifestyle change the citizen noticed that their online ads had suddenly started focusing on exclusively meat. Every time this Maroon logged on to the internet they would see countless ads for exquisite new meat spices, grills, premium passes at elite barbeque competitions. They couldn’t take it. They knew that they were a test subject of the power of the human will in the face of overwhelming temptation. This vegetarian now hunkers in various nooks and crannies of the campus. Their tin crown is all that stands between them and the eyes of the “Ad-Men”. Steamed veggies from Commons are relayed to them by a loyal underground support movement. It will not be enough. The Vegetarian told me this with a sigh. The ads know us. They will find this conscious eater and make them into a martyr. The no-meat consumer told me how they found a decapitated head of cabbage outside their dorm room. A clear message from the “Ad-Men”. The Vegetarian is holding on to their tofu with all their strength but knows that soon they be hogtied and be fed strips of New York Strip steak. Their resistance to the “Ad-Men” is still ongoing. If you see an individual with tinfoil around their head, they ask you not to approach them as they will consider you to be an agent of the “Ad-Men” and will use necessary force to stop you.

Kiki, Do You Have These Statement Pieces?

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Written by Shamira James

Everyone has a different sense of style that makes them stand out on this campus. You could be known for never being seen without a Gucci belt, you could be the girl who’s always wearing a full face – even if it’s 80-degree weather with a 100% humidity or you could be the guy who probably saves a lot of money because you’ve only ever seen him wear pajama pants and hoodies. Either way, while everyone has their own looks to serve, there are some pieces that are bound to be in your collection that are quintessential to the college wardrobe.

Stolen Greek Life Shirt That You’ve Probably Taken From a Laundry Room – The thing about this is that you can turn your nose and act boujee, or you can keep it 100 with yourself. It’s 1:00 a.m., and you’re doing laundry, there’s no one around. That shirt has been there for three weeks now. Just throw it in with your stuff and act like it never happened. Panhel would want you to have that shirt.

Denim Skirt – *Alexa, play just the beginning of Shania Twain’s “Man, I Feel Like a Woman”* Denim skirts have made a comeback and are in girl’s closet, and why not? They’re good for any season; throw on a sweater and boots and BAM! You got yourself a winter look! Grab a graphic tee and some nice tennis shoes and you have a classic sporty chic look for the ages. They’re also versatile, no one will know that the same skirt you’re giving your seminar presentation in is the same skirt you got kicked out of Awful’s in for dancing on the bar…no one has to know a thing.

Blazer  – That coat will only see the light of day for two reasons: Business class presentations and Pledge Week, and who cares? It’s so far back in your closet behind all the Vineyard Vines and RC Athletics paraphernalia that it’s always in perfect condition.

RC Merch – Whether you were lucky enough to catch a shirt from Chaplain Chris’ t-shirt gun during Maroon Madness, blessed by the Superfan for showing RC pride or just casually don’t mind dropping upwards of $20 on an RC shirt, chances are you have a few tees with that RC insignia on it. While some are very run-of-the-mill, some of them are special, like the soccer t-shirts class of 2019 got when they first arrived or the 175th Anniversary shirts class of 2021 got when they joined the RC fam. Keep the merch and the memories associated with them.

“Low Fat” and “No Fat” Are Not What They Seem to Be

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Written by Isaac Davis

The quest for a “simple healthy diet” has become increasingly less simple.

One area that can be particularly deceiving are low fat, or no fat food alternatives. This movement – spawned in the 1980s – saw food producers seize a market opportunity, taking advantage of the desire to overindulge on high fat foods and not get “fat”. Emphasising the dangers of a high fat diet on heart health, as well as the high caloric price of fat compared to other nutrition groups, the food industry began replacing animal fats with unsaturated vegetable oils. Through a process of hydrogenation, vegetable fats were transformed into usable solid or semi-solid fats. This enabled food manufacturers to reproduce low-fat alternatives to many goods, without sacrificing taste. Blurring the line between fat as a nutrient and fat as an attribute was a defining step in the framing of fat as negative. Marketing to the world’s insecurity established a particularly detrimental trend. Today, extensive scientific evidence highlights the hollow promises of such foods.

The use of synthetic hydrogenated fats, or trans-fats, are particularly well studied and have been shown to cause more damage to your heart health and cholesterol then a high fat predecessor. In order to retain taste and shelf-life of a low-fat product more preservatives are required. This typically results in an increase in sugar or salt, along with other additives such as high fructose corn syrup. While this sustains a familiar taste and texture whilst reducing our fat intake, the baggage it entails far outweighs the positives. A common example is low-fat flavoured yogurts. Though low on calories an eight ounce serving can set you back up to 12 teaspoons of sugar, more than a dessert equivalent. The sugars in these foods cause insulin levels to spike and fail to trigger a “full” response, meaning we are still hungry.

The no-fat food movement leads to additional confusion as it homogenises our understanding of fat, making no distinctions between the fat type. Food manufacturers will readily label fat either ‘good’ or ‘bad’ in order to gain customer interest. In truth the situation is much less clear-cut. A vast range of fats are required in various quantities within a balanced diet. Typically good fats (such as those found in nuts, seeds and fish) form essential fatty acids that are fundamental to vascular health as well as mineral absorption. However, similar to typically ‘bad’ fats, these should also be consumed in moderation. Balancing fat intake, focussing on ‘good’ fats and avoiding particularly manufactured trans-fats are the building blocks of any healthy diet. Nothing comes from nothing: no fat at what cost?

‘FitzMagic’ From Buccaneers Fans

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Written by Ian Gillen

Anyone remotely following the NFL knows that ‘FitzMagic’ has taken over.  819 passing yards, nine total touchdowns and an undefeated start is certainly a great cause for the attention.  More importantly for the influx of media attention though, Ryan Fitzpatrick plays for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers.

Most lifelong fans of the less than spectacular franchise from Tampa would tell you that there are conflicting emotions about the 2-0 start.  On one hand, the team has started the year the best way it possibly could have. On the other, we are well aware that this is not the solution to our long-term problems.

The sad truth of it is that the last few weeks have not been totally unexpected from a true fan’s perspective.  The last time the Bucs played the Eagles, only a few years ago, the result was a demolishing 45-17 Bucs win. Along the same line, the last time the Saints and Bucs played, the Buccaneers beat the Saints 31-24.  Nothing has changed in the mind of a Bucs fan, the only addition is that the rest of the league has woken up. Their wins across the first two weeks may not have been entirely expected but are only shocking to those who have not given them the little respect we deserve.

Rooting for a team that has now missed 10 consecutive postseasons has taught its fans one thing, how to stay grounded.  They know better than most NFL fans that success today does not guarantee success tomorrow. With this information, fans know to stay humble during this time because their day of reckoning is coming.  

Humble, but not silent.  

For years they have endured the trash talk of the other 31 teams, but now their franchise has finally given them some ammunition to fire back.  So they are going to show you highlights, scream in your face and wear the creamsicle-orange with pride. But it is only because they know that this may be the only time they have before their record falls back to reality.

However, if you did not watch Josh Freeman throw the ball, hear Greg Schiano coach or suffer through Doug Martin’s injuries, you do not deserve the joy that FitzMagic brings you.  Tampa fans have gotten to where they are by getting rid of fans like you, and your attempts to praise anything Tampa Bay only deepen the pre-existing hatred you have brought upon yourself over years of neglect, trash talk and misinformation.

While true fans will celebrate FitzMagic because it is what they are owed, they still prepare for a hangover that they have become all too familiar with.