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End Your Year on A Healthy Note: Learning to Respect Yourself and Your Body is a Habit


Written by Lorin Brice Hall

It’s finally here. School is almost over. This is the end of the 2018-2019 Roanoke College school year. Now that there is less on everyone’s plates, we should all look at ways in which we can better ourselves over the Summer.

The easiest way to improve ourselves would be to cultivate good habits. This can be as calm as simply organizing one’s room every morning and making one’s bed in order to live in an environment that is conducive to positivity and achievement. It could be as active as starting to run or to work out. By building connections between the mind and body we can work to reduce stress and anxiety, and thus empower ourselves to be better. The most effective way to create change in ourselves is to, first, take stock of what we are and what exactly we want to change. We need to recognize that we are fluid as humans and that nothing is permanent. The good things in our life could vanish in a moment. The bad things in our life could dissipate in a second. The only thing that is a constant in our lives is ourselves. Learn to respect and appreciate yourself so that you can grow. This summer will hopefully allow you to relax more and focus on maintaining and fine tuning the miraculous machine that is YOU. Be kind to yourself and prosper. The sun is shining!

The Mueller Report Report


Written by Joey Slusher

Today, the so-called Mueller Report was released to the public. The Mueller Report covers an investigation into the possibility of President Trump’s collusion with Russia. It’s named for Robert Mueller the leader of the investigation and former director of the FBI. Mr. Mueller looked into 10 “episodes” in which the President may have attempted to obstruct justice. In this investigation, it was found that there was a lack of evidence to declare whether or not the president had colluded with the Russians, but it did confirm that there was substantial evidence to support Russian tampering in the 2016 elections.

While the results about the President proved inconclusive in this case, Mueller’s investigation has spawned fourteen others, and Mr. Mueller has declared that Congress still has substantial claims to further investigate the President. The Report also revealed the instability and conflict that has been prevalent in the White House with one quote of the President saying that when he had heard of Mr. Mueller’s appointment as a special investigator that, “he slumped back in his chair and said, “Oh my God. This is terrible. This is the end of my Presidency.”

So what does this all mean? Is the President safe? Was he right all those times he claimed the Mueller investigation was a witch hunt? Well as of right now the President has not been found guilty of any crimes, so he won’t be getting impeached. While the Mueller investigation itself has not shed light on any wrongdoing of the President it clearly struck fear into the heart of the President as seen in that quote. Even more, it has sparked those other 14 investigations, and if even one finds the president has done something illegal it could provide grounds for impeachment. So, as of right now the President does not seem to be completely safe, and with election season around the corner I have a feeling we’ll see the investigations ramping up in order to make the president look worse compared to his Democratic competitors.

The Awfulest of Arthurs: A Tribute


Written by the Editor Staff (The legal ones, anyway)

About every other Thursday, the 21+ members of the staff here at the BA celebrate their nights off and head to the most hoppin’ place on Main Street, and we think that it deserves a tribute.

We shall miss the DJ who has decided that Emma and Shamira are BOTH his girlfriends, even though they are still skeptical of polyamory.

We shall miss the bouncers, who scare because they care.

(We shall not, however, miss the rude bouncer who acts like he doesn’t know who Shamira is OR that his scarf is the most tragic idea since Jagerbombs were invented by the Germans.)

We shall miss the front bar, where the bartenders always know we, as Thrifty Legends, are COMING for that PBR.

We shall miss the shark attacks, which are never a good idea, but taste really effing good going down. Less effing good coming back up. We digress.

We shall miss the dartboards and the pool tables that none of us really ever got to use because APPARENTLY you have to pay to use them? Like, what?

We shall miss the veranda, where everyone goes to get fresh air OR to smoke a cigarette, which remains one of the great mysteries of bar etiquette.  

We shall miss the Salemite men who try to come home with us and who “don’t care if we have a roommate.” (Actually, on second thought, we won’t miss that at all.)

We shall miss the Salemite women, who rock Ed Hardy t-shirts and low-rise jeans like nobody’s business.  

We shall miss the signs for the expensive seafood that we will literally NEVER eat, because the Brackety-Ack checks really don’t pay that much.

We shall miss the old men who buy the gals drinks and then leave them alone for the rest of the night. You are a rare breed, indeed.

And thank you.

Thank you to the baseball team for wearing dangly earrings and tight shirts.

Thank you to the rugby players who we saw kissing at the bar one time.

Thank you to the Chi O sisters who make every College Night feel like a “girls’ night out.”

Thank you to the Education majors who come out, once in a blue moon, and go hard, even though they have to see the kids in the morning.

Thank you to everyone who has made College Night at Awful Arthur’s such a fun time, week after week, and for providing excellent storytelling material. Roanoke College wouldn’t be nearly as Awful without you.

RC Students Raise Sexual Assault Awareness


Written by Emily Leclerc

April is designated as Sexual Assault Awareness Month. It is a yearly campaign organized to raise awareness about sexual violence and educate people about the steps that can be taken to prevent it. College campuses especially tend to experience elevated levels of sexual assault, and many portions of the campaign are targeted to assist young adults in dealing with or preventing sexual violence. The campaign also aims to stop victim blaming and create spaces where people can feel safe opening up about their experiences.

This semester, a group of students addressed the topic of sexual assault in relation to LGBTQ communities in Dr. Gregory Rosenthal’s “INQ 300- LGBTQ and Storytelling” course. Group members Marlena Gonzalez, Katie Thaxton, Michelle Eimen, and Christian Delaney presented their research and findings in Kime on Thursday, April 11.

The presentation was focused on the physical effects of sexual assault, the laws in place concerning these crimes, and the resources available for victims. The realities of those who have suffered this sort of attack can be bleak. The physical effects and injuries can be damaging and long lasting. The mental damage that stems from this type of trauma often far outweighs the physical injuries. Virginia, fortunately, sports relatively progressive laws concerning sexual assault, but there are still loopholes and gray areas that can be taken advantage of. A large part of their presentation was dedicated to shedding light on the variety of resources available to sexual assault victims.

The group invited Laura Guiliams from SARA to further illuminate Roanoke county’s local resources. SARA, or Sexual Assault Response and Awareness, provides counseling and victim advocacy services to local victims of sexual assault. They also host educational workshops in the area. Guiliams gave a brief talk at the end of the presentation discussing SARA’s resources and how to contact them if necessary.

Sexual assault is a serious issue and open conversations need to occur in order to raise awareness and educate the community about what happens when it occurs and ways of responding. Gonzalez, Thaxton, Eimen, and Delaney have become part of the movement of those speaking up about sexual assault.

For those in need of someone to speak to if they have been affected, SARA has a 24-hour crisis hotline that can be reached at (434)-977-7273. It is entirely confidential and those answering are trained to provide necessary assistance.

Tips for a POPPIN Playlist


Sometimes when you go on Spotify, you go for a very specific song, maybe to play “Work”  by Rihanna because its been 3678387 days since she’s made a song, maybe it’s to play “Old Town Road” because you want to show everyone where the horses are or maybe it’s to play some Boyz II Men because, word on the street is they’re incredible. But other times you want to put on a playlist and jam out to multiple songs, but if your playlists are trash, then you won’t be jamming out to anything. Here are some tips to polish your playlist game.

  1. Decades on Decades – Decade playlists are super easy but always get the party started. Everyone loves a good nostalgic feel, so throw together some R&B hits from the 90s and bring out your inner aunty/uncle.
  2. Vague Ain’t Bad – If the playlist is just covering a genre, that opens so many windows and doors for you because it’ll never end! There will always be something to add to it because there’s always new music coming out in that genre, so that “lit rap songs” playlist will be over 45 hours in no time
  3. Mood Music – This is for someone a little above the beginner level; if you notice that a few songs follow a trend or have a certain sound, then boom you got yourself a playlists. Songs like Bruno Mars’ “Natalie”, Hozier’s “Cherry Wine” and Fall Out Boy’s “Jet Pack Blues” have this very dark and almost ominous sound that set the mood for a broody rainy evening in.
  4. Titles Are Everything – Sometimes the title of what it really is, like a 90’s pop playlist, or an emo playlist isn’t bad, but thinking of a clever and fun name that conveys the message like “Girls Literally Scream Every Time They Hear These Songs” or “These Songs Sound Old But In A Good Way.”